Don’t wanna be Pro, mon.

•March 16, 2010 • 2 Comments

So Beru already beat me to it, but I’ve been thinking about this is as well.

I fucking hate the word “pro” as it’s currently used in WoW these days.

See, I only ever hear it when it’s some condescending, elitist prick (and why is it usually a rogue) using the term to criticize others for not doing everything perfectly. Even though said prick tends to fuck up just as much as anyone else.

To me, a “pro” is someone who gets paid to do something, you know, professionally. Last time I checked, very few people get paid to play WoW . I know there are some guilds who have “sponsors” and if you want to be pro, maybe you should go join them. Although I have a sneaking suspicion you’re not actually pro enough to join them. And you know it. So instead you just call yourself pro to make yourself feel better.

People who are actually “pro” don’t talk about being “pro.” Ya see, real pros understand that there is always someone out there who is better. Real pros understand that everyone makes mistakes and that there is ALWAYS room to improve. Real pros don’t belittle people for making mistakes. Instead, they try to help people get better and in turn, better themselves.

If being pro means acting like the people who toss out the word “pro,” then I am quite happy with my amateur status.

I don’t wanna be pro, mon.


– Lash


Hunting Guides

•March 11, 2010 • 6 Comments

A couple of people have asked me why I don’t write hunter strategy guides. This is a “hunter” blog after all, mon.

There are a few reasons actually.

    1. Better hunters than me have probably already written a guide or made a video about any and every boss encounter in the game.

    2. What works for me might not work for the vast majority of hunters out there. Let’s face it, I am terrible at this hunter thing. The best I can hope to do is steal ideas from those better hunters and adjust them to my playstyle so that I just suck less.

    3. Writing guides is just not something that interests me. I’d much rather bitch about the issues (real or merely perceived) I have with the hunter class. Or express my eternal and undying hatred of rogues. Or go on endlessly about the unparalleled sexiness of trolls. You get the idea. Basically, when I find the time to write here, other things interest me more.

    4. I am not here to hold anyone’s hand. I am a firm believer in self-reliance, self-education, and self-accountability. I believe it is the responsibility of everyone to handle their own business; this doesn’t mean that I won’t help or give advice and opinions or answer questions, but you damn well have better tried to find an answer on your own. And even then, if you take every single thing written by another hunter as fact and be-all-end-all gospel without investigating and putting it into practice for yourself, you’re an idiot and there’s no hunter guide or video anywhere on the interwebs that will help you.

      All that said, I occasionally toss up little tips and tricks that I’ve discovered and WORK FOR ME. Usually, it’s a collaborative effort among the Monolith hunting core. One of us sees something and we talk it through, come up with what we feel is the best solution at the time, and work on implementing a plan of action. Then, once again, I steal their ideas and claim them as my own here in my little corner of the Wide World of Hunting.

      I r smrt.

      So, here is Lash’s ultimate hunter strategy guide:

      1. Think for yourself.
      2. Do your own fucking research.
      3. Steal as many ideas as possible, hammer them into new ideas that work best for you.
      4. Never stop learning or trying to get better.
      5. Have fun. Don’t obsess about trying to the best hunter in Azeroth; there’s always someone better. Instead, try to be the best hunter you can BE.


      – Lash

      I am Jack’s complete lack of surprise, mon

      •March 3, 2010 • 7 Comments

      Fresh off yesterday’s rant about being a ranged class (amongst other bitchings) I ran across this interesting news:

      That spiffy new raid buff in ICC?

      Doesn’t affect pets!

      Why does this not surprise me?


      – Lash

      On consumable ammo (or the lack thereof), mon

      •March 2, 2010 • 2 Comments

      In the latest round of Scattered Shots, Frostheim dreams up some pretty neat examples of how our new, non-consumable ammo could vary and give us neat abilities based on the ammo we choose. Very imaginative!

      For the most part, I enjoy reading Frost and typically, although not always, agree with what he has to say. This time, however, I have to say, “No thanks and fuck that!”

      First, I do not want to “catch them all” as Ghostcrawler so aptly put it. The idea of having to “farm” multiple types of ammo, be it running dungeons till one drops or spending hard earned emblems on them (not to mention having to prioritize their purchase in this case) makes me a very sad troll. It’s pretty ridiculous in my opinion. Just like the whole “dual wielding pistols” talent idea that gets tossed around from time to time.

      Second, I don’t want to be a buff-bot or debuff-bot on my DPS class. Seriously, I don’t know what game some hunters are playing these days. Am I the only one who sees the serious mess we hunters, as a mostly physical damage class who stands at range and (currently) uses mana, are in? With killing adds, shooting balls (oh god the balls!), tranq’ing, misdirecting, managing my mana, and avoiding the bad shit on the ground – all while trying to do my maximum amount of dps – I think I have enough shit to worry about. I really don’t want to have to increase the hit or crit for everyone in my raid. I damn sure don’t want to be responsible for “healing my focus target.”

      Look, I’m trying not to whine and complain here, but I’d kill for a tank and spank fight these days. Seriously, just one. I’m tired of rogues and death knights and kitties and retadins, brag about their dps/damage when all they have to do is stand there and faceroll – melee who very seldom have to deal with adds, melee who very seldom are asked to handle the stupid little gimmicks that Blizzard insists makes the game more interesting need a good dose of what we have to deal with for a change. Why the fuck does all the bad shit in every boss encounter in ICC target range or, at the very least, become the responsibility of the ranged classes? Now you want me to debuff the boss and heal too?

      Again: No thanks. And fuck you.

      I’m probably the only hunter in all of Azeroth who actually doesn’t want non-consumable ammo. Yes, I’ve bitched about the price of my arrows from time to time (especially Saronite Razorheads) but Blizzard made huge improvements with the epic ammo in ICC. Those things are cheap as fuck. And readily available. Plus, non-consumable ammo just doesn’t feel right. I can hear it now: “Hey guys I need a few minutes to go pull out the thousand arrows I just perforated this guy with, clean ’em up, and stick ’em in my quiver (Oh wait!) so I can re-use ’em. I’ll catch up to you guys at the next boss. Thanks!”

      No, what I’d really like to see (get your torches, pitchforks and lynchin’ ropes ready!) is a hunter only skill (fletching, bowyering, whatever) that lets me make my own arrows. A skill similar to the old rogue poisons skill. Sorry engineers your days of price gouging hunters are over! Although, I’m sure since Blizzard decided that rogue’s having to make their own poisons was too tedious, we’ll never get it.

      Short of that, I wouldn’t mind seeing the old rep grinds for ammo make a comeback. I’m not talking about the Mt Hyjal rep grind that not everybody had access to (although with the relative ease of content and the number of PuGs I see rep farming ICC, it might not be a bad idea) but more a faction that every singe hunter can work on during the journey to 85. Hello Sons of Hodir 2.0! If I have to farm those stupid reps for shoulder enchants, head enchants, etc, why not ammo?

      But please, for the love of God, don’t make me catch ’em all.

      No thanks. And fuck you.


      – Lash

      Lash’s Adventures in Altville

      •February 26, 2010 • 10 Comments

      Once upon a time in Azeroth, mon, I was a pretty good warlock. Mind you I wasn’t a serious raider back then but I could put up some nice Vanilla DPS numbers in my PvP blues and ZG epics. I knew what curse to cast. I could roll DoTs on multiple targets. I handed out healthstones one at a time to my group-mates and made sure I always had a soulstone up. I could control my pet and seemed to get good usage out of whichever diabolical minion I had at the time.

      Nowadays, when I play my warlock in our alt friendly runs, I can’t seem to DPS for shit. I picked up a decent set of gear and tried a cookie cutter destruction spec for awhile when it was supposed to be tops and my DPS was really nothing to brag about. I tried an affliction spec (which is really where my heart lies – watching enemies die to a slow, agonizing death is a sick and twisted perversion of mine I guess. Welcome to my dark side.) Affliction lasted me a total of 2 hours on a target dummy. Not only could I not get the “rotation” down, I thought I was gonna develop carpel tunnel trying. Nowadays, I’m trying demonology. I told myself, “Self, get yourself a felguard and let him do the majority of the work.” Alas, I still don’t think I am playing to the classes potential. I guess I can comfort myself with my big purple demon form every few minutes. Least it looks cool.

      When WotLK came out, I started a death knight. The only previous melee experience I’d had was a rogue (who’s at level 70 these days and still not very much fun) and I was intrigued by WoW’s version of the shadowknight. A master of undead? Check. Crippling diseases and a big ass two-hand axe/sword/club? Sign me up! Ripping space and time to snatch unsuspecting victims across the battlefield? “Get over here!” Hello again, dark side, I knew you were still lurking around somewhere in my subconscious. The starting area and quests for deathknights are amazing. Unique storytelling and my first experience with the new phasing technology. I was pretty jazzed about the prospects of playing a new class.

      Then I ran some BC dungeons. Turns out I’m terrible at melee DPS. I can’t seem to keep up when a tank has to move mobs around. So I have pretty terrible uptime attacking. Plus, staring at a mob’s ass all night isn’t really my idea of fun.

      So I decided that since I’d never had a “tank” in any game, I’d make my evil little toon one and try that out. I read up on the basics of tanking. I assembled a tank gear set and pestered Smorg (one of the best tanks I’ve ever played with regardless of how much he hates it and doesn’t believe he’s any good) endlessly for advice. I found that I am decent at it. Even if I do taunt the wrong mobs sometimes on boss fights with adds. Or forget to lay down Death and Decay. Or forget frost presence. Sometimes, Beru even let’s me tank raid instances. Mostly 10 mans but this week I stepped up to the big league and tanked ToC 25 (normal mode!). All my little quirks and mistakes aside, I don’t think I did too badly. Even our resident progression DK tank told me I did fine afterward.

      The things is though: It’s not the most enjoyable thing for me. I feel like if anyone dies, it’s my fault. If I lose aggro and a big mean bossy eats some rogue’s face…well, OK, I don’t actually lose any sleep over rogue’s dying but you get my point. I also don’t feel like I have the patience to do it. DPS that don’t actually wait for me to try and get some semblance of threat makes me want to stab kittens. Repeatedly. I don’t have the patience to explain to them that if they start nuking Anub’s adds while I’m trying to corral them both and get them on the ice patches before they burrow, that my threat is not exactly super and there’s a good chance one is gonna smack them so hard their mother’s womb is gonna implode in real life. Plus staring at a boss’s crotch instead of his ass doesn’t really appeal to me all that much either.

      So the question became: What can I play on off nights? What can I take to our alt-friendly runs that I really enjoy playing and still contribute to our success? I was a buff-bot and shaman healer (Iksar for life, yo!) through the majority of my 5ish years in EverQuest and had a brief stint as a holy priest on my original server in early Burning Crusade. I feel like I’ve put in my time keeping everyone alive and don’t really think I can contribute much to that aspect of the game. Melee (DPS or tanking) is ok but as I stated, I’m A) not very good at it or B) not patient enough to do it effectively. I like throwing magic around but as evidenced I think, I have an obsession with darker magic and space chickens, elemental shamans and fruity mages just don’t appeal to me all that much. I suppose the argument could be made for a shadowpriest, but I feel that if it’s a choice between two DoT classes, I’d just go with my warlock. Plus, as you’ll recall, I look good in demon form.

      Finally, I settled on… wait for it… another hunter! At this point in the game, I decided that nothing is as much fun to me as hunting, even with all the concerns and complaints I have about the class. And as I replied to all the “WTF Lash?! Another hunter?!” my confused guildmates threw my way: “Only class I’m ‘good’ at. ‘Good’ being relative.”

      I went Orc this time so I don’t have to hear more of Dendrite’s accusations of my WoW racism leveled at me. And I don’t know if I will get him to 80 and geared in time to enjoy our alt runs before Cataclysm hits. Merk keeps telling me the fastest way is to do marathon dungeon runs with the Dungeon Finder but I don’t think that’s the way for me. 1) the old dungeons are stupidly long in my opinion and 2) I don’t like a good portion of the people I raid with nightly why the fuck would I subject myself to playing with strangers I probably won’t like either? No, I think it’s the old fashioned quest grind for Lashaar. We hunters are nothing if not self reliant. All I really need is my bow, the latest incarnation of Jambi (a wolf this time!) and some arrows. Plus, baby Beastmastery Orc hunters in full heirlooms are way overpowered. And fun.

      And fun is what I’m looking for these days.

      Lok’tar Ogar!

      – Lash (2.0)

      A few things

      •February 21, 2010 • 5 Comments

      Just a few things that have been on my mind lately, mon,

      Things that have irked me

      1 – To all you hunters out there, learn to pronounce your abilities correctly please. It’ll seem like you DO REALLY know what you’re talking about. I promise. 🙂


      Pronunciation: kī-ˈmir-ə

      (Have Mr. Merriam and Mr. Webster sound it out for you if you like)

      2 – To all the hunters who talk about stacking cooldowns but also don’t truly stack Furious Howl when dealing with adds because they don’t want their pet to go running off to the add target or they don’t even want their pet to get into combat for whatever reason

      /cast [@player] Furious Howl

      will keep your pet joyfully attacking IT’S target or, should the need arise, stay happily by your side when you manually activate it. Again, a little research goes a long way.

      Things that have made me do a happy troll voodoo dance

      1 – It’s just speculation at this point, but Vol’Jin’s War Drums (along with the other datamined info) gives me dreams of a land filled with tiki masks, bubbling cauldrons, and hot, long-tusked, and dancing troll womens.

      2 – Being done with the glorified ren faire and failure of a raid instance that was Trial of the Crusader. ‘Nuff said!


      – Lash

      Know what they say ’bout vampires, mon? They suck!

      •February 16, 2010 • Leave a Comment

      Ah kids today. With their love of all things emo and bity. I blame Anne Rice for inflicting the lonely, distraught vampire on us. Gary Oldman then kept that blood splattered snowball of melancholy rolling. Now we have True Blood, Twilight, and all the others. Whatever happened to the days when we were merely fresh meat for vampires and they all wanted to kill us instead of bemoaning the cruel burdens that immortality has festered upon their shoulders?

      It was no surprise then that Blizzard, renowned for their in-jokes and pop culture references, would jump on the bloodsucking bandwagon and give us vampires to dispatch in Icecrown Citadel. They are undead after all and The Lich King is the master of all reanimated corpses.

      I’m just thankful the Queen of WoW vampires wants to kill us rather than just wanting to depress us and make us want to kill ourselves.

      Too bad, she had shiny precious’s that we wanted. So we had to kill her.

      The strat that worked for us was to assign actual positioning and try as best we could to take the randomness of the first bite out of the equation. Most times it worked and we could get yours truly bitten first. Sometimes it didn’t and I’d have to wait to be the second bitten. Then we set up a pretty regular bite order for the rest of the raid.

      Here’s a rough diagram we used for positioning and bites:

      The reason we wanted to get me bitten fairly early was to get the buff out in the ranged as soon as possible. The ranged can continue to pew pew her while she’s flying around in the air throwing nasty stuff at your raid and the more ranged with the buff shooting at her while she’s flying around the better. We also had everyone afflicted with Pact of the Darkfallen converge dead center of the room. Those who got Swarming Shadows ran to the wall to drop the purple fire-trail of doom out of the raid

      And a little tip for hunter’s out there with this bloodsucking bitch in their sights: Deterrence can save your life when your raidmates can’t or won’t give you a 6 yard cushion for Bloodbolt Whirls.

      And if you haven’t ever seen it, the best of the vampire films over the last 30 years or so is hands down Near Dark; More cold blooded killing than incessant whining in that one. Plus Bill Paxton as blood guzzling redneck creature of the night Severen = win! Check it out.


      – Lash